Burn out and Gen Y women

I was reading an article recently (this one) and it was frankly, really depressing. It talks about how Gen Y women are typically burning out of work by 30 and opting for stay at home mom or jobs well below their potential. Why is that? The article explains that women have been working so hard for so long to be on top and the best (think high school extracurriculars and AP scores for college applications and think college internships and grades for grad school and workforce) that by the time they hit the workforce they're exhausted and they essentially start on the bottom again and have to work their way up. With women's desire to have a family and a career, it all catches up to them and this article is saying that women essentially give up and become dependent on their man or okay with a lesser demanding job knowing society won't think less of them in the end.

Hmmmmm.... being a 25 year old, go-getter Gen Y female, this troubles me. Am I on the path to burn out in five short years? How do I avoid this burn out? Wait, am I identifying with the "symptoms" they're describing? SHOOT!

I shared this article with a really good friend of mine, Erin, who is also a career minded, Gen Y female and she completely agreed with the article. Here was her response, "We are an interesting era... we want it all and all take balance. We want the husband the house the stability the good job the time for friends and fun and so if work isn't killing us, trying to make sure we keep everything else 'in order' will. We want everything, cake and ice cream and no frosting with a spoon and a fork but no knife and maybe a cookie on the side." I think she's exactly right on that. We want it all and we want it all now, but there are these new obstacles in our way. Ones we weren't prepared for in school or any other training of our past.



Gen Y grew up post 9/11, saw the effects of the great recession on our parents and felt it personally with the job market, continually see a divided country when it comes to anything political and yet are still bombarded with the notion that by min-twenties we need to have our shit together. If we're not married, we should be dating someone. If we're not homeowners, we should be talking to a relator (after all it's a buyers market!!) If we're not in the exact career we want, we need to get out and be happy. And yet, Gen Y gets a bad rep for being flighty, self centered and self preserving. I don't get it.

It's funny though coming from my recent past. I went to a private Christian university (Point Loma Nazarene University) in San Diego. "Ring by Spring" (get engaged by senior year spring semester) was a common phrase and it wasn't just something people laughed about. Oh no, although it was something people joked about, it was a serious fever among senior couples around campus. It was the "next step" a lot of people thought was to be taken once you walked across the stage to get your diploma. I explain that to share my friend's thoughts worded so well. "We can't plan ahead, know we want more, end up feeling stuck/stagnant, lack of direction. There are limited options for women who are still single or not wiling to be fully supported by men..."

She's got a point. I don't know how many times in my career I've heard excuses from married women about needing to get home to the kids or needing to do something for/with their husband or hear something along the lines of "oh well you're not married, you can help with this". My singleness gets taken advantage of all the while I'm stuck at a job not able to get ahead of the married with children because it wouldn't be fair since they have more mouths to take care of with the same paycheck. (Don't get me wrong married friends, I'm happy for you, don't hear what I'm NOT saying.)

Many people reading this or who hear my friend Erin and I chat just chalk it up to being jealous that we're not married/dating someone or jealous of some other facet of other people's lives. False. To those who got married at 22, I commend you, I would also bet that after a few years of marriage it isn't 100% what you thought it would be and it's been a lot of work that you might not have expected. Those of us in our mid to late twenties (or even thirties) still single, I get it. When we hit this age it's a lot harder for us to settle down and actually date someone. We operate under the idea of "why date someone if you're not able to even see a potential future?" Meaning while we balance our career driven selves with the innate desire for companionship, we must remember there is more to life.

I really love the more and more I'm learning about Gen Y and would encourage you to respond with comments, questions, whatever you'd like. If you find an article you think I'd like, send it my way! I want to continue this conversation about Gen Y and keep learning more and more about myself and my generation.

Until next time...