When life gets difficult

I haven't blogged in a while. Mostly because I've been sick (dang cold that's going around) and the fact that I couldn't think of much to blog about.

Granted, I worked my first trade show the weekend of January 17th and 18th. It was a BLAST, but since it hasn't turned into a full-time job yet (now almost two weeks later), it's not the most fun thing to think about. I did just receive my first post-college paycheck which was an amazing addition to my dwindling bank account, but again, it's not going to happen on a regular basis like I had hoped when I graduated in December 2008.

Me at my first trade show

If you were to ask me where I would be by now (January 28th, 2009) when I finished my final final December 17th, 2008, this is DEFINITELY not what I would have guessed. I would have thought I would be working full-time, loving getting dressed in profesh clothes and getting my second, if not third paycheck since graduation. *sigh* Instead, I'm calling myself a professional napper and reader of random books.

Since graduation, I have finished the four Twilight Books, read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" and started reading John Grisham's "The Runaway Jury". I've been told I will enjoy a lot of John Grisham's work and so far, I'm entertained by this book. With the current outlook on the job situation, looks like I'll be able to enjoy many of his books. 

Though I enjoy reading for pleasure and not having to read dry textbooks, I truly wish I had some sort of stable employment to make myself feel like I have some worth. When one's self worth is close to zero, it's really hard to find joy in everyday things. I find myself being a victim of low self worth. Which is ridiculous since I have a résumé that, for a 22-year-old, is quite impressive. I have a lot to offer the right company, but the right company doesn't seem to be looking for me.

I was watching the local news the other night and I heard the story about the father who murder his whole family before turning the gun on himself (Story on KSBY.com) with the loss of his job to blame. The reporter did an interesting segment within her package where she interviewed a therapist in the area who talked about how losing a job could spike people's anxiety and depression. I couldn't agree more. Though I'm not relating to this horrible man in anyway, I do see how anxiety and depression rates have skyrocketed with the recent job market. *sigh* I can only relate to this all too well.

It's when I sit and think about the different plans I had for my life, I wish at least one plan went right. I wanted to work for Point Loma Nazarene University's Admissions Department since I was a senior in high school. Only until I started my event planning job with the University my senior year of college did those plans change slightly. I knew I wanted to stay with Point Loma, but alas, a slight hiring freeze happened in January 2009. Awesome, right as I graduate. Oh well, I move home for the free rent and the much needed rest and relaxation. Who knew the R&R would last this long? I certainly didn't.

I've applied for numerous jobs and gone on a couple interviews, all leading to the same thing. Nothing. Literally. I haven't heard from either interviews and I've only gotten a response from a vet hospital to be their receptionist. *sigh*

It's times like these I wish I could escape back to Ireland. I miss the scenic countryside and the happy-go-lucky lifestyle of the Irish. What I would give to sit on the riverside in Galway again, or walk to the streets of Galway and into a cute pub for a pint of fresh Guinness. Or how about the city of Bangor? The cute boats, shops and ice cream stores found everywhere you look. I wish I could go back there now. *sigh*

Needless to say the job front is dim and not looking up anytime soon. 

Until the next time...

Riverside in Galway, Ireland

(Photo courtesy of Katelyn Emery)

Street of Galway, Ireland

(Photo courtesy of Katelyn Emery)

Marina in Bangor, Ireland

(Photo courtesy of Katelyn Emery)

Sea-side town of Bangor, Ireland

(Photo courtesy of Katelyn Emery)